|
 Can fangs and a miniskirt get away with murder?
This is a sad day for our country, blograts. That fork-tongued pile of scales known as Janet the Snake now has her own weblog, where apparently she will be allowed to spread her brand of lies, incitements and distortions without even an editor to hold her back.
I fail to understand why this creature continues to get interviews (Good Morning America, Martha Stewart) and even had a post at the New Rodent Times before getting fired for eating a mail clerk. Actually, 3 mail clerks.
This is an actual quote from the first entry in her weblog:
"Witness the visceral hatred in rodent letters to the editor of major newspapers: "Dear Editor", writes Cuddlebox the Hamster, "Snakes ate my mother and three sisters. Snakes are mean and nasty." The nerve! Cuddlebox fails to mention that snakes are bigger, stronger, and more lethal than hamsters, and therefore have a God-given right to eat his mother and three sisters. He also fails to mention that of course he was generously allowed to live. That alone is a testament to the generosity and love snakes show toward the rodents of the world."
And it gets worse. My agent, Susan the Human, is apparently involved in this whole enterprise, and is forcing me to link to Janet from my page. I refused, but she forced me. I'm thinking of dumping her for a shrew that only wants 8%.
That a purveyor of rodent media such as my agent would give this legless, armless, factless slithering evolutionary niche a forum shows how spineless we have become. I can only think that rodents and humans are too distracted by the lipstick and the miniskirt to see those lethal fangs and the occasional rat-shaped lump in her belly.
11:43:18 PM
|
Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl