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Pesky the Rat Special report: Behind the Bush Poll Numbers
Many rodents have become concerned about the recent rise in George W. Bush’s poll numbers, despite what we perceive to be a move to dangerous, predator-influenced foreign policies and a domestic economic agenda based on the faulty theories of Feline Economics. How, many of us asked, could humans and rodents answer polls so positively, when everything around us is turning into crisis soup?
I turned to my Extremely Reliable Anonymous Source, Lumpy the Mongoose, to break into Gallup, Trot & Canter Polling Company headquarters and steal the secret supporting documents for their latest polling activities. The results, which you can see in four reports below, shed light on this strange phenomenon.
Secret pollster document #1: The pre-interview This set of questions is used to screen candidates before administering opinion polls related to President Bush.
Secret pollster document #2: Auxilliary Iraq poll This poll was commissioned secretly at the behest of Snuffy the Cat (by way of Dick Cheney)
Secret pollster document #3: Cats & Snakes Poll of American attitudes toward cats and snakes, commissioned by Mel the Snake (aka White House press secretary Ari Fleischer)
Secret pollster document #4: Snuffy's Memo Memo from Snuffy the Cat to Gallup, Trot & Canter polling agency officials about results of a poll taken in early August showing a decline in Bush’s approval ratings.
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