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Worldcom inflated earnings to consume
all available space in the universe within ten days
I must interrupt today's election to bring you terrible news: it appears that the ever-increasing inflated earnings of a certain feline-run corporation known as Worldcom will soon have disastrous results for inhabitants of our universe. I've spoken to Millicent the Rat, Professor of Weird Crap We Can't Explain, at Stanford University, and she could barely contain her fear and concern. "At first we thought, this won't affect anything, because inflated earnings aren't technically real--but then we discovered that at a certain size (currently 9 billion dollars), imaginary money spontaneously transforms into horse manure."
This shocking revelation quickly spread through the rodent science community and panic has ensued. Human scientists, predictably asleep at the switch, have yet to realize the magnitude of the problem. Millicent has no advice: "There is nothing you can do about that much shit."
4:24:03 PM
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Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl