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Bush proposes reverse paychecks for Federal employees
Freshly back from spending a week as the hostage of a mob of insane turkeys (see below), President Bush today announced a new cost-saving measure designed to help pay for future tax cuts. The new program is called "Reverse Paychecks: Fun, Fun, Fun!" and affects most Federal employees immediately. White House spokesman Ari Fleischer explained how it works: "So you've got this Federal employee, say it's a guy responsible for inspecting meat for human consumption. Anyway, every time he gets a paycheck, it'll be a little bit smaller, until eventually he starts paying us. We figured it out, and after about a year, our friend the meat man will be paying enough to the Federal government to finance another trillion dollars in tax cuts!"
Pat Robertson demonstrates his vast intellect
Pat Robertson, species undetermined, has opened his enormous mouth again. Bask in the glory of his words here. Spelling lesson for the day: b-i-g-o-t...
12:59:37 PM
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Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl