Who
is The Rat?
Pesky the Rat is renowned in rodentian circles for his toothy political
commentary. Born in a garbage pile near San Jose, California, Pesky
is a former Congressrat and briefly served as President of the United
States during the 2000 election crisis.
Janet
the Snake is a regular columnist here at Pesky
the Rat, much to Pesky's chagrin. Her hobbies include eating
Democrats and squeezing parking meters until the quarters pop
out. Go to Janet's
home page , Read
Janet's biography,
Dr.
Sneakypants
Dr. Sneakypants,
mad rodent scientist-in-residence at Stanford University's Hoover Institute,
cranks out timely inventions on a regular basis.
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Lumpy is Pesky's Extremely
Reliable Anonymous Source, traveling the world at breakneck speeds to
bring you all the news that nobody else would consider fit to print. Lumpy
has been known to simultaneously give live reports from three continents
at the same time.
Larry
the Spotted Owl
Larry
the Spotted Owl is from Kings Canyon National Park in Northern California.
He drives a Harley and has multiple tatoos. He also plays pool and smokes
too much. Larry watches really lousy movies so you don't have to, and
occasionally makes political commentary.
White House concerned North Korean missiles might eventually target states that voted for Bush
White house policy analyst Ron the Echinoderm said today he and others in Washington are concerned about the growing threat from North Korea, and are worried that North Korean missiles might eventually reach Republican-leaning states. At the moment, the CIA believes North Korean missiles may have the capability to reach California and Hawaii. So far, however, no states that voted for Bush are considered in serious danger, as Alaska is an unlikely target and Nevada exists in an alternate quantum universe.
"As long as those Dongs are aimed at the commie pinkos on the coast, we're all right," said Ron, "but the second they aim those suckers at Idaho, there'll be hell to pay."
California Senator Barbara Boxer replied, "That's the problem in the world today. Out-of-control Dongs."
The Rat moves about the furniture
As a result of Susan the Human's new job responsibilities, the Rodent News Service, which carried rodent-related news stories, has been put on hiatus. You can still read all RNS stories by clicking on the link in the left column.
In addition, the archives page has been reformatted and updated. You'll find all the Pesky the Rat stories you've missed, listed in categories for your convenience.
Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl
and others in Washington are concerned about the growing threat from North Korea, and are worried that North Korean missiles might eventually reach Republican-leaning states. At the moment, the CIA believes North Korean missiles may have the capability to reach California and Hawaii. So far, however, no states that voted for Bush are considered in serious danger, as Alaska is an unlikely target and Nevada exists in an alternate quantum universe.