Attention, rodents!

Do you feel small and inadequate?

Do you run and hide when the neighborhood cat stalks by?

Do you wish you were big and fluffy as opposed to small and stringy?

You need Dr. Sneakypants’ Fabulous Furbalizer!

Yes, Dr. Sneakypants, creator of the exciting line of Fabulous Fusion Devices which are sweeping through rodent communities all over the world, has used his scientific prowess to create the ultimate rodent grooming product.  Deep underneath the Stanford Linear Accelerator in Northern California, Dr. Sneakypants and his hundreds of assistants have been working around the clock to produce the FABULOUS FURBALIZER.

The Fabulous Furbalizer works deep down in the roots of your fur to radically increase VRS (Visible Rodent Size). Just rub Dr. Sneakypants' miracle potion all over your body, and within minutes, POOF! You are now the size of Rottweiler*.

Testimonials

"I have always felt like nobody liked me because of my big buck teeth and my flat, greasy fur. But then I tried Fabulous Furbalizer and now I'm the size of a cat. Human children even pick me up and hug me. Thanks, Dr. Sneakypants!"  --Dara the Mole Rat, Casablanca, Morocco

"I kept getting chased by a pack of feral cats in my alleyway. Then I put on some that Fabulous Furbalizer, and now I'm so big I just roll around like a giant snowball and they run screeching. Thanks, Dr. Sneakypants!"  --Rosco the Rat, Bronx, New York

"I couldn't get any acting jobs as a rat, but then I took Fabulous Furbalizer and now I've been cast as a giant tribble in an upcoming Star Trek movie, and as a huge piece of lint in a Maytag commercial. Thanks for everything, Dr. Sneakypants!" --Sven the Rat, Los Angeles, California

Don't delay--order Fabulous Furbalizer today!  Send $19.95 for a two-month supply to: Dr. Sneakypants, PO Box 348, Stanford, California, 94567

*Mice will only reach the size of a small terrier.  Capybaras may reach the size of an elephant and are advised to use caution when applying Fabulous Furbalizer. Do not use Fabulous Furbalizer in an enclosed space such as an elevator. Do no leave Fabulous Furbalizer within reach of felines.  Extended use of Fabulous Furbalizer can lead to total fur loss.

End of paid advertisement

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