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Stop the Campaign Kitty! My Extremely Reliable Anonymous Source, Lumpy the Mongoose, discovered this article in today's San Francisco Chronicle:
Lumpy chased down this story and found that the Campaign Kitty has grown to frightening proportions. Here, for the first time, is an EXCLUSIVE photograph of the Campaign Kitty, now the size of a small baseball stadium:
We must stop the Campaign Kitty now, before it rolls over and squashes everything we care about! Take action before it's too late! Send your donations to Dr. Sneakypants, 555 Sneakypants Lane, Stanford, California. Dr. Sneakypants is tirelessly working on an Anti-Kitty Potion which we hope will cause the Campaign Kitty to shrivel up into a tiny little Spare Change Kitty, barely big enough to purchase an ad in a high school newspaper.
12:10:14 PM
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Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl