Every once in a while someone falls out of bed and discovers the internet and, inevitably, The Rat. Such as yesterday, when a little angel sent me this sprinkle of cheer:

What the Fuck are you talking about? You think you represent the American people...Very Sad indeed.
--Carlos

Hmmm. Excellent question, Carlos. What the fuck AM I talking about? What the fuck are any of us talking about? Then again, Carlos, what the fuck are you doing writing hate mail to a rat? Really, it is impossible to sink any lower without falling into Dick Cheney’s Secret Lair.

Carlos was writing in response to this story, an interview I did with Michael Savage the Howler Monkey. At the time of that writing Mr. Savage was still employed by an unsuspecting television network that had not yet determined that he is in fact a howler monkey. This was discovered forthwith, and Michael is now selling Churros at LegoLand in Southern California.

Curiously, another reader thought to comment on the same story this way:

That poor howler monkey, keep treating him like that and there will be no howler monkeys left. And you could have at least have given him a banana! he was obviously very desperately hungry! for gods sake, all he ever wanted was a banana.
--Sarah

So it appears that this interview was rather unpopular, both with the rolling-out-of-bed set and with the monkey sympathizers. So I thought to myself, perhaps I should follow-up with Mr. Savage, you know, to see whether or not he thought I’d been unfair. The conversation went this way:

Pesky: Hi Michael. Pesky the Rat here. Remember that interview I did with you a few months ago?
Michael Savage: Uh, yeah. Want a churro?
Pesky: Er, no thanks. So, do you think I treated you unfairly? You know, did I "steer" the interview or anything?
Michael Savage: Oh. Yeah. (sniffle sniffle). It was outraaaaaaaaaaaaageous. Boohoohooohoohoohohahhaoooo ohhhhh God, I hate churros.
Pesky: Gee, Michael, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I certainly hope that nothing I said is responsible for your current state of affairs.
Michael Savage: *snort* Waaaaaaahahoooohoohoobllllagh.
Pesky: Oh, come on Michael, it’s not so bad, look it’s a Lego George W. Bush! Doesn’t that warm your heart?
Michael Savage: That’s not George Bush. That’s the turnip in the Lego Vegetables exhibit.
Pesky: Are you sure? It looks an awful lot–
Michael Savage: Bwahhoohoohoohoohoohooh *snort*. Turnip.

Anyhow, Michael just couldn’t formulate a single coherent sentence, so I left him toodling churros near the Legos in Space exhibit. As for my readers, I apologize if anything I said may have led to Michael losing that certain, er, something that made him a marketable star.

Odds 'n ends

Archive update: The guinea pigs who archive past stories here at Pesky the Rat area a couple of weeks late on the maintenance. We hope to get things cleaned up by next weekend, depending on the news.

Yer opinion: Anyone know any really good polling scripts? Pesky the Rat wants to implement opinion polls. Tips are welcome.

7:21:39 AM