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Interview with Bob the Barnacle, Nader supporter By Pesky the Rat (PTR) – Today I had the opportunity to catch up with Bob the Barnacle out on under the docks in Santa Cruz. Bob is a die-hard Ralph Nader supporter, and we chatted about a new poll showing Nader with 6% of the vote.
Pesky: Thanks for joining me, Bob. So I’m told you’re for Nader this time around.
Bob: Oh yeah, Pesky, Ralph’s my man. You bet.
Pesky: Doesn’t it concern you that by voting for Nader you might be helping Bush to 4 more years?
Bob: What would you have me do? ABANDON MY PRINCIPLES??
Pesky: Well, er, no--
Bob: I MUST STICK TO MY PRINCIPLES, YOU CORPORATE GOON!
Pesky: I am not a corporate goon. I am a rat. We rats are above that sort of thing.
Bob: HA! I SCOFF AT YOUR DENIAL—oh, hang on a second, there’s a nice little chunk of fish floating by. Let me just reach out my tentacle and grab—eeerrrgh—mmmph---oh, come a little closer, baby, come on, just a little closer—
Pesky: Why don’t you just scoot over and grab it.
Bob: I’M A BARNACLE YOU MORON! I CAN’T SCOOT!
Pesky: Ooops. Sorry. Want me to get it for you?
Bob: NO! I MUST VALIANTLY CAPTURE MY OWN PREY!
Pesky: It’s a chunk of dead fish, Bob. It’s not exactly prey. You know if you weren’t glued to the bottom of this dock you could probably get a lot more—
Bob: NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! I WILL NOT BE CONTAMINATED BY YOUR AMBULATORY NATURE!
Pesky: Oh Christ. Here’s your damned fish. Just eat it.
8:39:29 AM
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