Who
is The Rat?
Pesky the Rat is renowned in rodentian circles for his toothy political
commentary. Born in a garbage pile near San Jose, California, Pesky
is a former Congressrat and briefly served as President of the United
States during the 2000 election crisis.
Janet
the Snake is a regular columnist here at Pesky
the Rat, much to Pesky's chagrin. Her hobbies include eating
Democrats and squeezing parking meters until the quarters pop
out. Go to Janet's
home page , Read
Janet's biography,
Dr.
Sneakypants
Dr. Sneakypants,
mad rodent scientist-in-residence at Stanford University's Hoover Institute,
cranks out timely inventions on a regular basis.
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Lumpy is Pesky's Extremely
Reliable Anonymous Source, traveling the world at breakneck speeds to
bring you all the news that nobody else would consider fit to print. Lumpy
has been known to simultaneously give live reports from three continents
at the same time.
Larry
the Spotted Owl
Larry
the Spotted Owl is from Kings Canyon National Park in Northern California.
He drives a Harley and has multiple tatoos. He also plays pool and smokes
too much. Larry watches really lousy movies so you don't have to, and
occasionally makes political commentary.
Today’s Pig – Detected Terror Alert Level: Extra-Sloppy Red
Today’s terror alert is related to the apprehension of international happy song mastermind, Cat Stevens.Stevens, whose songs are believed to have been used by millions of decadent hippie men to lure Midwestern farm girls into their dorm rooms, was removed from his flight by Federal Agents today after Ed the Terrorist-Detecting Pig caught a whiff of happy juice from the general direction of his aircraft. Your Department of Homeland Security would like you to know that Stevens, now known as Yusuf Islam after a temporary bout of Fundamentalist Unhappiness, will be sent packing forthwith to spread happy songs in Old Europe where he belongs.
The Dept. of Homeland Security: Your Tax Dollars At Work