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Insane Turkeys: Debate Edition 
WE ARE THE INSANE TURKEYS. WE INHABIT THE INTERNETS. THIS INTERNET AND THE OTHER ONE WHERE THERE IS NO SPAM. YOU DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO THE OTHER INTERNET BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT INSANE. WE WILL CEASE WITH THE ALL CAPS NOW FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.
We harvest timber and drive hydrogen generated automobiles. We address everyone as Senator Kennedy. We are deeply enamored with Poland. We will replace all soldiers with unmanned automobiles which are not so drafty. We have won tonight's debate because we did not wet ourselves. We amuse ourselves juggling wet toothbrushes. We scowl and smirk and run but we do not hide. We are insane turkeys. You are internet lurkeys. Together we will take over the world and initiate mass pickling schemes.
We cannot be outspinned.
Update: we have battling green eyeshades. Yes we do.
Update 2: We are arranging an expedition to Canada next week. We will be voyaging through the wilds of the third-world hellhole known as Central Ontario. Susan the Human has relatives there. She assumes, as do we, that these relatives lack plumbing and are sprouting additional legs due to consumption of third world Canadian drugs. This pleases us because we are insane.
Update 3: Excuse us while we stroke this plank of wood.
8:56:55 PM
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Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl