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Bush cabinet members vanish mysteriously after Pentagon experiment gone awry By Lumpy the Mongoose (PTR) -- Members of President Bush's cabinet have been vanishing with alarming frequency after a Pentagon invisibility experiment went horribly wrong.
Inside sources say that the Pentagon was experimenting with invisibility under the orders of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who reportedly believes that invisibility will improve his approval rating with soldiers on the front lines.
Scientists at the Pentagon activated the Invisibility Generator earlier this week, and excitedly watched as it rendered half the staff of the Invisibility Division utterly invisible. Satisfied with their progress, Pentagon scientist Dr. Nastypants took the device over to the White House for a demonstration. Immediately after turning the device on, half the Bush cabinet disappeared. Scientists, horrified, attempted to bring the cabinet members back, but to no avail. While most newly invisible cabinet members returned home to await a cure, Secretary of State Colin Powell apparently didn't notice the difference and held a press conference expressing his opinion on a number of foreign policy subjects.
Meanwhile, Laura Bush, also present for the demonstration, remained visible, apparently protected by her natural lack of relevance.
Secretary Rumsfeld also failed to vanish, frustrating him to no end. Scientists now believe that no invisibility device, no matter how powerful, can possibly hide an ass that big.
8:02:30 AM
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Who
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Dr.
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Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
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