Who
is The Rat?
Pesky the Rat is renowned in rodentian circles for his toothy political
commentary. Born in a garbage pile near San Jose, California, Pesky
is a former Congressrat and briefly served as President of the United
States during the 2000 election crisis.
Janet
the Snake is a regular columnist here at Pesky
the Rat, much to Pesky's chagrin. Her hobbies include eating
Democrats and squeezing parking meters until the quarters pop
out. Go to Janet's
home page , Read
Janet's biography,
Dr.
Sneakypants
Dr. Sneakypants,
mad rodent scientist-in-residence at Stanford University's Hoover Institute,
cranks out timely inventions on a regular basis.
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Lumpy is Pesky's Extremely
Reliable Anonymous Source, traveling the world at breakneck speeds to
bring you all the news that nobody else would consider fit to print. Lumpy
has been known to simultaneously give live reports from three continents
at the same time.
Larry
the Spotted Owl
Larry
the Spotted Owl is from Kings Canyon National Park in Northern California.
He drives a Harley and has multiple tatoos. He also plays pool and smokes
too much. Larry watches really lousy movies so you don't have to, and
occasionally makes political commentary.
Janet the Snake SuperSexy Reptile Pundit Empress of America Is hungry for some Italian food
By Janet the Snake (PTR) – Hisshisshiss. Ssssusssan the Human isss packing up for the trip to Italy tomorrow, and I am alssso making my preperationsss. I have, asss Empress of America, a csssertain resssponsibility to uphold the SsssuperSsssexinessss of my officssse. Alssso, I wissssh to ssssnuggle with my exssstra-ssssexy Sssssssssilvio Burlusssssconi. All thesssse little Italianssss are protesssting him right now becausssse he isss laying off 20,000 teachersssss. They think thissss isss unreasssssonable. They do not undersssstand that it takessss 20,000 teacherssss to make a proper buffet to greet the Empresssss of America. Sssssilvio issss ssso generoussss to hissss guessstsss. Hisshisshiss. He makesssss me feel all ssssquiggly.
Sssssusan isss excsssited to ssssee the Pantheon, and the Trevi Fountain, and the Ssssspanissssh Ssssstepsss. However, I musssst inssssissst that we ssspend at leassst sssome time sssshopping for minisssskirtsss. We musssst take advantage of high Italian fasssshion. My future ssssuccesss asss Empressss dependssss on it.
If Don the Corn Sssssnake would like to come along, I am in need of a sssslave for the trip. Pessssky isss rudely refussssing to wait on me head and tail. Little sssnack.
Ah, the Eternal Cssssity…and here’sssss to an eternal beasssstlet buffet!
Susan, Janet, and Pesky will return from Italy the week after Thanksgiving with lots of pictures. In the meantime, any reports from Italy of a large snake consuming thousands of protesting Italian teachers are not to be believed. Ahem.
Who
is The Rat? 
Dr.
Sneakypants
Lumpy
the Mongoose
Larry
the Spotted Owl
resssponsibility to uphold the SsssuperSsssexinessss of my officssse. Alssso, I wissssh to ssssnuggle with my exssstra-ssssexy Sssssssssilvio Burlusssssconi. All thesssse little Italianssss are protesssting him right now becausssse he isss laying off 20,000 teachersssss. They think thissss isss unreasssssonable. They do not undersssstand that it takessss 20,000 teacherssss to make a proper buffet to greet the Empresssss of America. Sssssilvio issss ssso generoussss to hissss guessstsss. Hisshisshiss. He makesssss me feel all ssssquiggly.