If a story you're looking for isn't here, it's probably on the home page. If it's not there either, then search my Google search engine. It takes me a few days to archive stories after they roll off the home page. Feel free to email me if you are looking for something specific. -- Susan the Human

What is a weblog?
About the Author
About Pesky's intended audience: a note for parents

The Great Insane Turkey Saga

Part 1: President Bush kidnapped by mob of insane turkeys
Part 2: Insane Turkeys Spotted at Truck Stop in Nebraska
Part 3: President Bush temporarily escapes insane turkeys; cancels pay raises for Federal workers
Part 4: President Bush escapes mob of insane turkeys
Tampa Bay Buccaneers kidnapped by insane turkeys
Insane turkeys take over FCC, poised to dominate American Media
Insane turkeys respond to FCC vote

Foreign Affairs

Rumsfeld terrifies Europeans by saying, "the center of gravity in Europe is shifting East"; millions of French & Germans desperately glue valuables to the floor
President Bush celebrates victory over Hussein brothers, declares himself America’s #1 Sex Machine.
Transcript of Middle East summit
100,000 tiny peace protestors lodge themselves in White House medicine cabinet
Scientists discover that if you repeat a lie over and over again, it becomes true; Bush administration rejoices, viagra prescriptions plummet.
Colin Powell accidentally flushes self down toilet
Scientists discover guy who still believes WMDs will be found
Bush cites Iraqis for poor grammar in weapons declaration
Ashcroft declares ancient redwoods to be terrorists
Bush speaks for war; Iraqi Hijackers & other mysteries of science
Henry Kissinger fires himself after watching reruns of "Dr. Phil", overthrows Salvation Army, declares war on mall Santas
Rumsfeld announces US Army soldiers to enter Iraq covered only in duct tape
The Rat ponders the coming war
Bush administration announces Santa Claus to support attack on Iraq
Bush misinterprets UN map of falafel stands
The Mother of all Quotients
War supporters look at Iraq in a vacuum
Worldwide conspiracy of supermodels behind American drive for war with Iraq
White House concerned North Korea might eventually target states that voted for Bush
Oregon real estate agent offers to help Saddam relocate
Bush declares war on UN weapons inspectors
Rumsfeld says lack of evidence on Iraq is evidence in and of itself
Pesky the Rat exclusive: Colin Powell's rejected evidence against Iraq
Powell says "Iraq must turn on the lights and come clean"; orders Pentagon to equip US Army with supersoakers and soap dispensers
Bush's attempt to show Iraq's "smoking gun" during State of the Union address goes horribly wrong;Trent Lott in surgery to remove beebees from butt
Oregon real estate agent offers to help Saddam relocate
UN inspectors find stash of missing socks, car keys, report cards, and homework in Iraqi presidential palace
Bush cites Iraqis for poor grammar in weapons declaration
Santa Claus toy cartel masses troops at Iraq's Jordanian border; prepares to unleash puppies
Bush says he doesn't need UN; invasion instead to be sponsored by the letters X,Y and Z
Bush administration announces Santa Claus to support attack on Iraq
North Koreans feel unloved; demand same attention as Iraq
Bush says Iraqis have kidnapped MacGyver
Bush misinterprets UN map of falafel stands
Bush administration uses Jail Birds to link Iraq and Al Qaeda
Gerhard Schroeder says Germany will invade neighboring countries to make up for being such a bunch of pacifists on Iraq
Sea Anemones disgusted by Bush call for UN to "get some backbone"
The Mother of all Quotients

Economy

Bush proposes auctioning off Americans to pay for tax cut
Millions of Americans rush to purchase mansions and private jets after tax cut passes; Bush worried about backlash once they "figure it out"
Bush administration says America to release first IPO, switch to corporate model
Bush says tax cut necessary to "heal a dividended nation"
Steve Case resigns from AOL, starts virtual french fry delivery, uses stock to buy Canada
Bush tries to turn America into a Banana Republic
Senate reduces tax cut; only 5 states now need to be expelled from the union to pay for it
State of Oregon eliminates school year; students to be home-schooled by family dogs
Worldcom inflated earnings to consume all available space in the universe within ten days
Bush administration pursues "Shock and Awe" strategy with budget deficit
 Bush changes human suits in Treasury department
Worldcom inflated earnings to consume all available space in the universe within ten days
$159 Billion Federal Deficit Entirely due to Bush Cat Toy Spree at Amazon.com

Politics & National Security

Pesky's 2000 campaign site (where it all began...)
Bush saves the environment with super-duper environment saver thingie
Republicans attempt to convert coral polyps from "Reefer Madness"
Mush the Squid interviews Colin Powell
Top five items edited out of EPA report by Bush
The Rat muses about Arianna Huffington for CA governor
Phil the Patriotic Flatworm
Missing Democrats found in Dick Cheney's secret lair
Larry the Spotted Owl: The Rant
Interview with Ron the Echinoderm, Bush Administration policy analyst
The Nancy Pelosi Female Glances of Doom
Dixie Chicks kidnap Dick Armey, Dick Cheney
Pesky's Democratic Presidential Debate
Bush proposes reverse paychecks for Federal employees
Interview with FOX news correspondent Osama Bin Laden
Osama Bin Laden takes job as correspondent for Fox News
Osama Bin Laden quits job at Uncle Salty's, now working at mattress store
North Korea slowly drifting toward the United States
Hamsters outraged as Bush sets his sights on Syria
Iraqis embrace Republican values
Osama Bin Laden working at Virginia mall
Saudis offer to take direct payments from Americans, eliminating the need to drive around in ugly SUVs
Britain admits it plagiarized UN report from homework of 11-year-old California girl
Geraldo discovers hundreds of Democratic lawmakers in underground vault
Ashcroft announces arrest of serial jaywalker; calls it "major step forward in the war on terror"
Where the heck is Ralph Nader?
Shocker: eBay spying on UN Security Council
eBay changes name to eSpy, offers government full dossiers on serial knick-knack collectors
Total Information Awareness Snapshot of the Day: Glenda the Bear
Dick Cheney caught skipping commercials with TIVO
Bush vows to end affirmative action for white males
Bush changes name to "Captain Neo", starts wearing one white glove on his right hand, moonwalks into Jell-o sculpture at White House party
Trent Lott eaten by snake
Interview with Ron the Echinoderm, Bush Administration policy analyst
Conversation by Dick Cheney & Bill Frist intercepted by Lumpy the Mongoose
Geraldo discovers hundreds of Democratic lawmakers in underground vault
John Ashcroft accused of persecuting Sea Hares for sexual practices
Bush vows to end affirmative action for white males
Interview with Tippy the Libertarian Cow
New Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist chased by headless laboratory cats, nearly crushed by falling cow
Snuffy the Cat takes over key Pentagon propoganda project
Support segregation: stick Trent Lott on a deserted island
Henry Kissinger fires himself after watching reruns of "Dr. Phil", overthrows Salvation Army, declares war on mall Santas
Gore says he won't run; wants to market new line of feminine products with Paul O'Neil
Trent Lott eaten by snake
Snuffy the Cat takes over key Pentagon propoganda project
Kissinger agrees to head commission to figure out how on earth he got appointed to September 11 commission
Intro to Plasmodial Slime Mold
Bush proposes reverse paychecks for Federal employees
Ashcroft declares ancient redwoods to be terrorists
Behind the Bush poll numbers
Where the heck is Ralph Nader?
Intro to Plasmodial Slime Mold
Bio of Snuffy the Cat
Duplication & Multiplication of Chickens Act (DMCA)
Rep. Zoe Lofgren takes on the Duplication & Multiplication of Chickens Act (DMCA)

Mush the Squid
Mush replaces Richard Perle
Saddam Hussein debates Mush the Squid
Raelian cult claims North Korean leader is clone of Bush

Dr. Puddlebudget

Robertson says Jeeeezus would've loved those tax cuts
Robertson says, "What's up with the ladies?"

Ahmed the Jerboa
Ahmed part 1
Ahmed part 2
Ahmed part 3

Misc.

The Rodent News Service has been retired due to Susan the Human's new job responsibilities. Read all the Rodent News Service stories here.

Happy 4th graphic
Pesky vows NYTimes reporter scandal will never happen here
Writer's Block
MONKEYPOX!
Commentary by Sally, Preteen Human Turbopundit
The Rat rants about the pet psychic
Stanford scientists deny cloning humans
The Insane Turkey Saga
Rat Porn
Bio of Snuffy the Cat
Stanford scientists deny cloning humans
Guest correspondent: Bitey the Dog
Eye of Sauron caught shoplifting at Wal-Mart
Rodent Philosophy Lesson 1: Fundamentalism is scarier than cats
Disturbing interview with Keiko the Killer Whale
Space Shuttle memorial drawing
First Salon post (contains multiple entries, including the half-band-aid-half-rat disaster story)

Bitey the Dog (Mark Hoback)
Tracey the Mouse (Giles Boutel)

Author's Notes and other Writings from the Human

Spam for the Rat
The human gets a job
Playing God in my own Fuzzy Universe
Author's Note 12/2
Author's Note 11/13
What's Bridgeville worth?
The Passive Voice as a Rhetorical Choice